The Graceful Journey Never ends

What do I use the internet for?

2010-12-02T14:48:00.000-08:00

This is a post for my mass communication class so I guess it is easy to assume that I use the computer for school.

I also use the computer to communicate with people, such as my mom and friends. I know it is not like a letter or a phone call but it is quite convenient to send someone an email or type a comment on a facebook status when in a hurry.

I play games on the computer as an escape from reality. Yes it may sound simple minded but I need an escape from the everyday grind that seems to span off into a panic attack every now and then.

Google is a great way to discover things for me. My children may ask me a question and the answer is only a few key strokes away. My children seem to believe I am the smarterst person in the world and that my fellow bloggers and readers is priceless.

These are just a few things I use the internet for but the most used I would say.

Happy Reading,
Catherine

Boomer

2010-07-03T09:08:00.000-07:00

My Boomer is getting over a horrible infection. Everyone says go to the low cost spay and neuter clinic. Well by the end of this ordeal it will have cost over 500.00 and that is because of the kindness of the vet we found.

Boomer is our 7 month old yellow lab. He is quite the gentlemen. I never knew I could love a big ole dog like I do him but he sure is special. I am looking into training him for dock diving. I think that will be a fun thing for us to do as a family.

He is obedience trainging and if there were just a few things we could break him of he would be just perfect.

I am so glad he is healing and recovering from that nasty infection. Stay away from the low cost places. They just run your animals in and out so fast. They don't care about the sterilty.

Peace! Catherine

OMG

2010-06-07T19:48:00.000-07:00

That is right I said it. OMG

I am numb and do not know what to do. I am on the verge of another breakdown.
Yesterday my family came home from camping and i was cleaning up. I was vaccuuming and didn't see my husbands shoe. The vaccuum sucked up a shoe lace and I couldn't get the thing turned off. You know how it is.... trying to fumble around to get the shoe and turn of the vaccuum and your husband is in the background screaming at you.

Well he came over and took the vacuum out of my hands turned it off wrapped up the cord and moved it across the room and began to scold me as if I were 3. I haven't mentioned that my 9 and 10 year old and one of their friends were in the living room with me.

Now hummiliated I go outside, the friend goes home, she tells her mom, who is a friend and texts me what the heck is going on. He yells at me more outside for things he thinks I should have done while they were gone.

By now feeling like an impish child my daughter and I go to the grocery store. When we are leaving she asks me, " mom why don't you just leave dad?" OMG that is right she sure did. I asked her why and she said because he is always yelling at you and not being nice. "Why does he do that?" she asked.

I explained to her that I wasn't really sure but I didn't think it was ok either. I then asked her if she wanted us to live apart? She didn't think that was such a great idea either.

OMG what am I suppose to do with that?

School's out for the Summer!

2010-06-03T14:51:00.000-07:00

It is bitter sweet. I am excited about all the fun things we are going to get to do this summer but the noise that has already taken over my house since 12:12 today is rediculous.

I love my kids they are so funny but they are loud. Well it has started.

My AC in my car is out. I have to get that fixed tomorrow or I am gonna die in this Texas heat. I need to get one of those car windshield things to help the car stay cooler. But what is cooler? 580 degrees instead of 600? Oh well. I wouln't call anywhere else home. Texas that is. I could live in alot of other places besides here.

Let's see what the new day holds tomorrow.

Well it seems to me....

2010-06-02T12:07:00.000-07:00

That all I have to do is ... and whatever I want is done.
I guess that is why he never does anything for me because I always
seem to do it for myself. Well I am calling him on the phone right now and telling him that I am done taking care of myself and that I need him to do what I tell him to do for me when I tell him to do it.

Do you think that is gonna work? He will get around to it later he will say. Well in my time that is always way to long. I have to do it myself.

Hang on I am calling...

So it worked... He said ok...Call the mechanic and let's get your car fixed.
OMG I am so excited.

I will let you know when we can afford to get it fixed now. I just got off the phone with the mechanic and the parts store.

I need to go lay down.

C

Am I just paranoid?

2010-05-25T20:07:00.001-07:00

First of all let me start by saying I have been with out my hormones for atleast a week.

Now let me say my husband was on facebook and accepted these hot women and one I think was his high school girl friend. I don't measure up. I am feeling a little insecure right now. He had to go the front door because we heard something and before he would he had to sign out of fb. I guess he was afraid of what I would see. OMG

I have been feeling really weird lately and I don't know what to do.

A Mother's Nightmare

2010-02-27T20:13:00.000-08:00

As a teenager I began to have seizures and no one knew what was wrong with me. So the Dr.s of the small town in which I lived put me on anti convulsant meds and hoped I would be ok. I then moved to a bigger town and my symptoms worsened. I went to a bigger hospital and under went a few tests. The Dr.s said I had a Venous Angioma wich was just like a mole. It would never cause me any trouble. Let's not forget by this time in my life I was having several seizures a day and there was a blob on an MRI that was not supposed to be there.

Well long story short, 13 years and dozens of Dr.s including the Mayo Clinic, I had brain surgery to remove an AVM from my brain. I have been seizure free for almost 9 years and live a very active life.

I have 2 children and a wonderful husband of whom all were there during the time of my surgery and my children I was told I would never have.

My daughter is now going through the same thing I went through. All though she is very young and is unaware of the turmoil I am in she is now being sent through the same horendous paces I remember so clearly.

She is now 10 and just yesterday she had her 3rd MRI to watch what she has been diagnosed with, a Pineal Cyst. These will never cause any trouble the dr.s have assured me. Although, she is now having migraines, difficulty reading and in math, she is no longer articulate with her speech and her moods are well there is no better word but premenstrual.

This "Cyst" is also on the 3rd ventricle of her brain where the fluid drains. The Dr.s told me that if the cyst gets clogged or lodged it will cause an emergency and have to be removed. Why wait? Why when you know it is there and it is obviously causing a problem, and there is a likely hood that it can cause a problem, why not be preventative?

Is our medical field all about being on the defensive that they have forgotten about the patient and their well being. What about the hours we may go before we see there is a problem and the unrepairable damage that may be caused?

I never wished this path on anyone. My lord in heaven why oh why does it have to be my baby girl??? I thank you that my baby boy is safe and healthy. Please let my baby girl rise above this. Please let this malformation disapear.

I am lost. A lost sheep. My faith is starting to fade when I know I need it the most. I wonder if I have been forgoten. So much tragedy in a very short life. I don't want my children to be subjected to this. To fear. The unjustifiable ignorance. I want them to run and play in the yard. Blow bubbles and giggle about boys or girls. I want them to be safe and happy. I also want them to know a little pain and suffering so that it doesn't blow them away when it happens. I am realistic. I want them to know it from the outside. I want to teach them. Isn't that why I had the life, so that I may rear my young to be what I have learned?

My nightmare is before me. I must advocate and will not stop until we receive answers we can live with. Until that day I will not stop. Dear Lord please push me to not stop.

Always Kiss Me Goodnight.....

2010-02-15T08:21:00.000-08:00

I remember a time...doesn't seem that long ago but I guess it probably is in the scheme of marriages, when every night before bed and every morning before he went to work he kissed me. Not so much anymore. Does my breath smell like a cow died or something. I mean what if something happened and we were never able to say I love you anymore.

I know what you are thinking why can't you do it. Well I could if I wanted to get up at 5am but I don't. I do give him a little nuzzle when I go to bed but he goes earlier than me. So no kiss then either.

We are in a big rut. I thought last year we were headed for the big D and we made it past that. Now, still in counseling, we are seriously week to week good and not so good but not divorce either. Ugh. WTH do I have to do to make this man happy.

I am a full time student I work and bring home the bacon. I try to keep the house. Yeah I am on the comoputer or doing home work when he gets home. I am gone all day to. He says he doesn't want to work when he gets home from work. And I do???? But cook and clean and take care of the kids. Try to do something to let the tension of the day reside and he doesn't understand that.

He sits in front on the TV and that is ok because he is a caveman but I am a woman in the 50's. ugh!

I just want a kiss before bed and before he leaves. Is that really to much to ask?

Feeling Blue

2009-09-03T07:09:00.000-07:00

I guess with all of the changes and my husband actually cutting me off. I have started thinking deeper into our relationship. I haven't come up with any final answers. I am totally confused and hurt.

My life seems to be on some sort of horrible roller coaster that keeps spinning out of control. Although I can see people over on the side as I go through the depot. Shouldn't it be me who is working the mechanisms?

I mean slow down speed up. Handle that better. Wake up, go to sleep. Stay in school, don't yell at the kids. Yes you love your husband, pick up the laundry, vacuum the floor. Stand up for yourself. He shouldn't talk to you that way. He did what. Pick yourself up out of this recliner and do something.

I know all of these things and still here I sit.

I am just a mess.
I need help.
I need to do something.
I need help.
I have already dropped a class from this semester.
Resigned as PTA president. Who am I? Is that who defines me? I need a job.
But I have already been told that I don't have any experience and I don't have a degree. What has all of the years of working my tail off been for? Service work is still work.

What will I do if he leaves? Do I worry about that? That is my problem. I worry about everything. I know that if I was on my own with my 2 kids we would be fine. I don't want to be on my own but who does? Do I still want to be married to him? How do I know? I don't want him to make all the decisions. I don't want him to push me around. He can't change our life after 16 years and expect me to be ok with it.

I am not ok with it.

I am hopelessly lost. I really need help.

Making a choice wasn't so hard.

2009-08-19T02:26:00.000-07:00

This week I had to make a few choices that will inevitable change my life. Yeah, dramatic I know. I have been doing for everyone else that somehow I have totally forgotten about my family. Especially my husband. The one person in my life that has been by my side for almost 16 years. If you know me.. you know that is not an easy task.

It isn't always easy being married and it isn't always easy being a mom and maybe by doing all of these other things I was somehow covering up some crazy part of something. i don't know. Well I was worried about letting the kids at the school down. I was worried about people being mad at me. I was more worried about losing my husband so I went in and spoke to the schools principal. She was great!
I have made the decision to step down and PTA president. In the back of my head I feel a bit strange. I made a commitment. I don't like going back on my commitments. But my commitment to my family is my first priority.

I love my husband. I am still in love with him after 16 years. IDK. But i do know that I want to be with him. When PTA and SYA are over. When the kids graduate from school and move on. When grandchildren begin to arrive I want to share those times with him. No one else. Him. I will work on it everyday. I will make him happy everyday.

Not in a good place today.

2009-02-21T16:37:00.000-08:00

Today I am at home by myself.

My family is in Louisiana at Mardi Gras.

I am working on homework that should have been turned in on Thursday.

And college... It isn't like all that other stuff. It actually takes some work. Last semester I just blew through it. This semester is actually making me do the work I should have done last semester along with this semester too. That is not OK

The person whom I thought was my best friend has turned out to be someone that I don't really want to be around. She keeps hurting me and says she didn't realize it.
Then she crapped on one of our friends last night like it was nothing. No big deal. Why do we take everything so personal...

My daughter is in Pre-puberty? Is that a word? She is having some learning troubles also. I am not sure how to handle all of that.

A boy at school was causing trouble but he is in a Detention school for another matter for another week. We will see about that when he comes back.

I have so much going on that I feel like my head is going to explode.

My husband is not at all happy. Thinking of leaving actually is what he told me yesterday. Then he took my kids and headed out of state.

I am just not at all in a good place right now. I am still in my pajama's and it is 6: 45 pm.

I want to just let this all go away. I don't know what to do anymore. I am overwhelmed and my husband thinks I am just making excuses.

Why do I have to be the way I am? Why do I have to be so persistant? So analytical...
Why can't I just accept that someone might know more than me?

OMG!!!!! What can I do to make it all better?

Facebooks 25 Random Thoughts

2009-02-10T19:35:00.000-08:00

Today on FB one of my friends posted the note "25 Random Questions about me" The words he used were very profound and I found them to be much more than just "Random Thoughts" I think they are things we all need to hear.

My friend was Blessed to have a wonderful family. He shares many of these ideals with you. Enjoy his note, I will then post mine. It is not so in depth but it tells alot about me.

You should take the challenge and write 25 Random Things about yourself and share it with your friends and family. Get to know someone you haven't seen in a while.

Love to everyone,
Catherine

25 Random and Not So Random Things about Me, Brandon Roberts

1. I’m a HUGE Longhorn fan. Dad started taking me to games when I was 3 and I haven’t stopped going since. He also started me snow skiing when I was 3, and I haven’t stopped going since.
2. I have the greatest parents a person could ever ask for…I certainly don’t deserve them but am trying my best to emulate them.
3. My wife and my children are my lifeblood. I’ve always prided myself on being independent and self-sufficient, but I honestly don’t know how I could get by without them.
4. I’ve been most fortunate in life regarding friendships... I try every day to be as good of a friend to them as they always are to me.
5. I absolutely love competing…preferably in sporting events though my body has told me recently that it’s not such a great idea nowadays.
6. Golf is much more than a pastime to me…it’s a passion and something I find to be extremely enjoyable. It may be the only thing I’m willing to admit that I’m addicted to.
7. Unlike others I know, I’ve been given the ability to leave work in its rightful place…at work. Bringing it home with you doesn’t “work.”
8. I firmly believe that a person should enjoy what they do for a living. I realize this can sound odd, but if I’m happy at work (and leave it there), it makes me a better father, son, husband, and friend.
9. I loathe anyone who doesn’t appreciate their family. Take care of your family, no matter the circumstances – if you had incredible parents who gave you more than you could ever have asked like I did, then thank them profusely and make it your life ambition to give the same love and support to your children. If, however, you did not have a positive experience, then I beg you to let all the pain and disappointment you have serve as motivation to give your children everything you wanted and never got.
10. “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” Darrell K. Royal
11. I believe there are a lot of different ways to exercise and stay healthy, and running isn’t one of them. I’ve run most of my life; from jogging out country roads in junior high to marathons in my 30s. Save your knees and your heart and find something better than pounding the pavement to stay in shape. Need some evidence? Try Jim Fixx, the father of running. Yes, he died while jogging from a heart attack. Not enough? Ask yourself why so many athletes (baseball, football, sprinters, even golfers) look so healthy and “in shape?” Now, consider what a world class marathon runner looks like. You know why they don’t look healthy and in shape? Because they’re not! “If I die, I want to be sick.” Abe Lemons, on why he doesn’t jog.
12. I work hard every day to be positive and optimistic. A positive attitude might just be the most important character trait that a person can have. We can’t change the events that happen in our lives, but our attitude about how to deal with the event will almost always determine the outcome of the event. “I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man that had no feet.” Ancient Persian saying
13. I also try daily to stop myself from judging others. It’s perfectly fine to pass judgment on others, as long as you’ve reached perfection already.
14. My life motto: Expect the best, prepare for the worst, but most importantly, enjoy it all.
15. Although I was a high school football coach for 8 years, I find myself laughing every time I see or hear about a coach “motivating” his players with a bunch of rah, rah stuff. I often told my players, “if you need me to throw clip boards and punch lockers and shout Knute Rockne quotes in the locker room to get you excited about playing football, then maybe you need to find something else to do.” I believe there’s a big difference between motivational speakers and inspirational speakers.
16. I think many of our worldly problems would be solved if people would be proactive, not reactive. “If it is to be, it is up to me.” I’m a patient man, but I have very little for people who wait and hope when they could get off their cans and make a difference. You know that old saying, “I have hope in one hand and a pile of crap in the other, and they’re worth about the same.” I think there’s a big difference between hope and faith.
17. I love my wife unconditionally. Now, she makes this fairly easy because of the person she is and the mother she is to my children. We have our rough spots like most other people, but I contribute our success to this: Don’t wish for a happy marriage; earn it. It’s not important which side of the bed that your spouse sleeps on, only that you’ve earned the right to sleep next to her (him). I was fortunate enough to learn early on that anything really worth having, anything special, should be hard to get. Else, it wouldn’t be special. I think my marriage is special.
18. I don’t know what I would do without fellowship.
19. I don’t understand the infatuation with reality shows; I put them in the same category as pro wrestling.
20. I’ve tried most of my adult life to stay up on current events and what’s going on in the world, but I can’t for the life of me get interested in politics. I stay informed enough to be able to hold a average conversation on the subject, but very rarely find I enjoy said conversation. Yes, I’d much rather debate the use of the asterisk is sports record books or who is the greatest golfer of all time (Tiger vs. Nicklaus). I doubt this makes me a better person, but it sure makes me a happier one.
21. Every once in a while I catch myself wondering what it would be like to have a little boy running around the house; but EVERY DAY my two little angels do something to make me realize I wouldn’t change a single thing.
22. I VERY MUCH envy my dog; not that I treat him like royalty or anything, I just really appreciate his carefree and worry free lifestyle. I also miss that wonderful energy of my youth.
23. My idea of a very relaxing and peaceful time is sitting a deer blind or wade fishing a mile off shore; not sun bathing or having some masseuse rubbing oily stuff on me.
24. When it’s time for sleep, I can hit the pillow and be out in under 5 minutes; and yes, I fully appreciate how much of a treat that is.
25. I believe in having a relationship with a higher power. Whether that entails going to church twice a week or meditating in your backyard or just saying a prayer during the day. To me, the importance lies with the relationship itself, not how or where it takes place.

WOW, I hope you enjoyed his thoughts. Now here is mine!

25 Random Things About Me, Catherine Leggett

1. I am a Freshman in college at 37.
2. I love dill pickles more than chocolate or ice cream.
3. My children are only 15 months apart.
4. My brother and I are only 11 months apart.
5. I love to speak in public.
6. I hate to clean my house and very rarely do fold and put away the laundry. I really need to dust too.
7. I need to lose 50 lbs. I have lost 8 so far.
8. I have been on Disability since I was 17 years old because of a seizure disorder.
9. I had brain surgery 6-28-01. Tj was only 3 months old.
10. I love to make people laugh. But most of all I love to laugh.
11.I have always hoped that one day I will make a difference in someones life.
12. I met Michael Johnson at the Atlanta Airport and got his autograph just before the olympics.
13. People with no commonsense drive me insane. I mean really... think about it...
14. Sometimes I wish I could say NO to all of my volunteering. I do so much. I guess I figure if I don't do it it won't get done right. lol Or good enough.
15. I am a bit of a control freak. Perfectionist, not really, it should just be done right the first time... don't half a$$ it. I don't have time to redo it for you.
16. I watch Hannah Montana with the kids.
17. I wish I had a magic wand and could make the world a better place for my children to grow up in. A safer place, one where they feel comfortable playing in the front yard. Or where I feel comfortable with them in the front yard.
18. I love to plan large parties and functions. When the picture in my head is taking place in front of me I feel so accomplished.
19. Bon Jovi ROCKS Then and Now!
20. I digitally scrapbook and have been on several creative teams and a Moderator on several sites.
21. I don't remember a large amount of my youth and young adulthood. Memory loss is due to my seizures. FB has helped me to remember alot of things. Thanks everyone.
22. I just got a new camera. My dream camera. And I am going crazy figuring it out. All of the settings and fun things I can do with it. It is a Canon Rebel Xt. Love Love it!
23. I am totally a cat person. The only problem is that they are just as hard headed as me and won't cuddle when I want them to. lol
24.I really love to eat home cooking. But I hate to cook. I am always so busy. Coming and going that there doesn't seem to be enough time in the day. I need to prioritize.
25. I have a gym membership. I have for about 8 months. I have only gone to the gym about a dozen times. OOPS. no time! lol

They are a bit different.

Tj is growing up.

2009-02-09T20:16:00.000-08:00

Well today TJ lost one of his teeth. It is really his 3rd one but this time it was awesome. I didn't even know it was loose. He showed his daddy but then he realized that he likes to pull them out. So he quickly retreated to a good distance so he could discuss his options. He wanted to know if I thought he would look cute with out his top tooth. "Well of course!" I said. No one on this planet is as cute as you. Well in a few minutes he had to leave for gymnastics so he had to inhale a chicken patty sandwich. (his fave meal, absolutely dry, with a slice of cheese) All of a sudden in a very not so sure way he said, "I think my tooth fell out!" I turned to look and he was holding it in his hand. Then he said,"Yelp, it sure did!" Oh but wait there is more. He wanted to see what the new hole in his head felt like. So he stuck his finger in his mouth. Upon examining his finger, what do you think he saw? That is right! BLOOD!!!!! TJ ran to the bathroom as fast as he could all the while screaming that he is going to bleed to death. His dad and I tried not to laugh. He is so darn cute, you just can't help but giggle at him. He returned after he rinsed a new man. Of course, he had a tissue with the residual blood on it so he could show us all the great agony he had been under. When just a split second ago he had said,"I think my tooth fell out!" without a whimper or a wail.

Oh my goodness what a completely innocent soul my TJ is.

Will she grow out of it?

2009-02-09T15:07:00.001-08:00

My daughter has been a whiner since way back. She whines at the drop of the proverbial hat. The noise bothers me so much that I cringe knowing that she is about to erupt into that ear piercing siren until she gets her way. Well if you have ever met me, you will know that she doesn't get her way very often. Unless of course I just want her to shut it up.

Her progress report came today. For the first time she had a failing grade on it. Instead of telling me she went out to play. My friend asked me if I had seen my children's progress reports because her daughter did not get an acceptable grade (80) so I went fishing in her backpack. When I saw the grade I immediately went to find her. I asked her to please come inside. We need to discuss your progress report. OH NO, WRONG WORDS!!

I should have tempted her into the house with food. She began to make noises and throw fits and scream it's not my fault before she ever got to the door.

Well her dad is not home yet. He is going to be angry. I do take part of the blame. The subject is Language Arts, and the grades are low on her vocabulary tests. Shouldn't we help her study? Is it up to us that she has study skills instilled in her at this age so that she will grow up knowing how important it is to know the work?

She will be able to bring this grade up but I am afraid of the noise her dad is going to make when he gets home. lol

I need to go get the cotton ready now.

Boy Trouble

2009-02-04T06:01:00.000-08:00

My Caiti is in 3rd grade. She is my sweet baby girl and I love her so very much. There is a boy in the 3rd grade that earlier this school year started to do things that were of a inapropriatte manner. He had other students write poems, notes and say things to her. The words sex were involved several times.

This is all very upsetting. Last Thursday, this boy said somethings to by daughters best friend, at an after school program, that were on the same lines. The only problem is that they were much worse. He used visuals, and said he wanted to f*** her. He Stated a few other disturbing things and then said he knew exactly what he would do to her.

I have gone through the channels and after a long weekend of studying and not taking no for an answer I believe that the School, District and After school program are taking a proactive stance on this matter.

This child, in my opinion, needs to be looked at. What is going on at his house? Why does he think this is OK. He is definetly bullying my daughter.

Uggh.

Dear Lord, Please let the children be innocent. Let the children be free of this behavior. Let those that heard these words forget them. Please Lord, Let the children be free of humility.

Thanks for letting me rant...

Reflecting

2009-02-01T15:44:00.001-08:00

Today I am reflecting on my life. I sometimes wonder why my entire life has seemed to have been an up hill struggle. I do thank the Lord for all that he has given me, maybe I don't thank him enough. I know in my head that all that he brings to me is to teach me so that I will be able to help those who are faced with the same challenge in the future.

How do I tell him that I am tired of the struggle? How do i tell him that I just want to have a few years with your family that are pleasant and no one gets hurt. Would I have to sell my soul? I won't do that.

I will keep fighting and struggling. One day my life will be all that I have worked for. My children and my husband will be with me and we will reflect again on the past and remember all of the good times. There have been so many good times.

Have you ever bitten off more than you could chew?

2008-10-15T17:31:00.000-07:00

Well let me see, I have a list of things that I am doing and I wouldn't believe it if someone else told me. My marriage is almost over and I really don't want that to happen.

PTA Carnival Chair. Had carnival on 10-4. Thank goodness that is over
PTA yearbook chair.

take pictures at all events
teach 5th graders curriculumn
design book

3. SYA special projects director.

Bingo night (done)
pictures (done)
trophies
carnival
plaques
fundraiser
shoutouts everyweek
team mom meetings every other week
answer atleast 20 questions a day
fundraising events at local resturaunts
donations for SYA
board meeting 1 a month
Cheer coach
1. Teach 8 8-9 year olds cheer
2. deal with parents
3. Handle the football team and parents
4. be postivie and show the girls how to do the same

4. College Student

Computer class
Algebra
Public speaking
Design
All the homework that goes along with 13 hours of college.

5. Mom

do I really have to list everything LOL

6. Wife

you know the drill

7. Creative Team Leader on 2 sites

I have turned the reins over until it slows down but I feel like such a disapointment

8. Friend

Listening!!!!! I feel like I just don't have time!! I feel like I am loosing my bff!

9. Substitute teach

I haven't had time to work and we really need me to work.

10. I volunteer and help whenever anyone needs it. I love to help the fine arts teacher at the elementary school. I love love love to help. I am very crafty and just love to help the kids. My mom never did anything so I don't know if that is why.

I don't think this is all. I do way more. I am so exhausted and I feel like I am letting my kids down. I know I am letting my husband down. He is the one that would rather not help anyone. I just like to help. UUUGGH

Rant over for now

Wow so much has been going on!

2008-05-29T07:49:00.000-07:00

Well Hello again. It has been such a long time since I have posted on here and it is probably because I would like for this blog to go a totally different way. My mentor and dear friend told me I needed to update. She is horribly correct when she says things. Almost everytime. I would never tell her that face to face though.

I have just started my first college class. I am so excited and overwhelmed. I went to sleep and woke up thinking about it. I am just hoping I can get through it with an A and don't look like a complete goof.

I have been working on some digi kits and I am horrible embarrased by them. They don't look anything like I think they should. I think that I can do it all on my own but I really don't think that is ever going to happen. My pages are looking so much better. I am on 5 ct's now and I think I may be ruining my marriage if I don't keep my house clean and my dh fed before getting on the computer to scrap and check the forums that I am also moderator of. With the scrapbooking, Substitute teaching, Volunteering, College and being a mom and wife I need to start prioritizing and writing stuff down.

Oh my goodness, how do I get it all done. I have to make costumes and carry the kids around to practice and brownies. LOL I love it. Wouldn't trade it for the world. I guess the good thing is baseball is over until next year. Brownies is only one week and school will be out on the 5th of June. Then we have all the summer fun stuff.

So until next time. Rock on and don't forget to lift your voice to the lord no matter how off pitch you are!!

I feel so old!

2008-01-10T21:50:00.000-08:00

I turned 36 a couple of weeks ago and I have been having some tests done because I have had several bladder infections. Well I have Kidney stones and fat on my liver! Isn't that a sight. I need to lose about 50lbs. Then more tests. High Cholesterol and Low Thyroid! What is going on? I then went into the dentist for a normal cleaning and they wouldn't clean my teeth because I needed to see a specialist. WHAT!!! So I went into see the periodontist, and I need 4 bone graphs and major gum surgery. Maybe I should just get them all pulled. I have just cried all week. Yes, I found all of this info out this week and I have become a bit depressed. I have started eating a low fat diet and we are starting to get everyting together so that I can get my teeth worked on.

I just hope that everyone out there takes care of themselves. Watch your diet and make sure you go to the dentist annually and also see your doctor for a physical.

God bless you all!

Go To purplepaperflowers.com/forum

I finally did it.

2007-12-12T18:38:00.000-08:00

Well I finally sent in my resignation for the board of the PTA. Wow what a weight off my shoulders. I don't have to deal with all the petty childish behavior anymore. The principal is just about one of the most horrible people to deal with. I feel so much better. I don't have to prove myself or run around trying to please anyone. I feel free.

Football and Cheer is over also. We went to the semi finals and the boys and girls got to ride in a Hummer limo on the way to the game. They had great fun this year. The final game was great and the kids had a bunch of fun and that is what is really important.

We are getting ready for Christmas now and I have a job interview on Monday for a secretary at one of the local elemetary schools. I think I have a great chance. I wish I could bring my kids with me but we will have to see. It may be to much for the kids. I will talk to them if I am offered the job.

Everyone have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

A little about me... LOL

2007-11-12T18:20:00.001-08:00

My friend had this on her blog and I thought it would be funny! Then I realized that we are the same person. lol We have alot of similarities. This was fun, everyone try it!

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car) Collie Taurus
2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)-'Vanilla Sugar (I like it)
3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name) - C-leg. ( That rocks, I am going to use it tomorrow)
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)-Violet Schnauzer (lol)
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)-Michelle Austin ( I am changing my resume)
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first) -Legca
7.SuperHero Name (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)-The Blue Pepper (So that either sounds like a virus or a villian... trying to decide)
8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)-Bobby Houston (I got his autograph)
9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)- Rain Butterfinger (Amanda and I must be sister strippers...lol)
10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names) Earl Jo (Yes we are from Texas)
11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)-Hammett Houston (todays forcast calls for laughs)
12. SPY NAME/BOND GIRL: (your favorite season/holiday, flower)-Summer Lilly
13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)-Apple Tanky
14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)-Banana Willow (Peace Brother)
15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”)-The Karaoke Storm Tour

Have fun,
Catherine

Volunteering?????

2007-10-14T16:32:00.000-07:00

Ok. I am exhausted. I have been volunteering for the PTA and the SYA and substituting for the elementary school and noone seems to appreciate the things volunteers do.

I know I get paid for substituting but I still am there to help. I give my all everytime I am at a school and the teachers just seem to be ungreatful and very untrustworthy.

I don't volunteer to get recognition or a pat on the back. I volunteer first and foremost to be involved with my children. I love my kids and I love the kids I work with. What I don't love are the parents who don't do a thing for their kids sports team or homeroom and then blame the volunteers that everything doesn't turn out the way they think it should have been.

"Step up if you want to make a difference" that is what I always heard. Well when you do get ready to listen to the whinning and bellyaching. I am so tired of the parents on my daughters cheer squad moaning and groaning about EVERYTHING! I can't make everyine happy but I still try so stinking hard.

Why do I volunteer? For my children, so when they look back at their childhood they will be able to see me in their memories!

Vegas Baby!!!

2007-09-19T19:12:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I am actually in Las Vegas! The city that never sleeps... or is that New York city?? Well it doesn't matter I am here. I have been working the Memory Trends conferance and having a great time meeting the nicest people from all over the world! I never go anywhere unless I drive and I flew here and I actually saw some really incredible things and met some great peeps on the plane! Night in Vegas is awesome! The lights and the noises are amazing! Except for the guys passing out the card with the naked women on them! Over it!!

My feet hurt soooo bad yesterday that I stayed in my room and didn't do a thing! That is just not like me at all. Now I am waiting for Princess Amanda to get done with a meeting about her website so we can paint this town Purple!!! lol

Oh by the way, today is my 9th wedding anniversary! Trey sent me chocolate covered strawberries to our suite! How AWESOME is that? Amanda and I both cried! He really had to go through quite a bit to get that done! I love him so very much and time apart reminds me! I really miss him and the kids. I was such a great time here but I am ready to get home to my family and give them hugs and kisses!

Everyone have a wonderful day!
Cat

I'm riding a wave!

2007-09-14T21:25:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness! I am exhausted! The disease that must be diagnosable..You know the I can't say no to anyone or anything? I have it! Well this year I am the Pragrams VP on our PTA board and I never thought that would be me. I do all kinds of volunteering for the school! I think it makes me feel closer to my kids. I am also My daughters cheer coach. I am a substitute teacher and a stay at home mom! Cheer is 3 night a week with games on Saturday. My daughter is 7 and she is the oldest one! Of course, all of the moms think that there little darlings are just the perfect little angles and I get stuck with these ladies whispering that they are going to kick my ____ you know what! right in front of my husband! Did I ask for this? Why did I sign up for this?

I am leaving tomorrow to go to Vegas for Memory Trends!! WOOHOO! I am actually stressed out about the parents being upset with me about going out of town! I never go anywhere or do anything for myself! I just want to go to Vegas and have a great time learn something new about myself and enjoy life!

I seriously don't think I am asking to much. Maybe I am asking to much of myself. I mean I did stay up all week making buckets and spirit sticks and a run through banner for the cheerleaders and did about 50 book orders for the teachers. I worked and I guess I did keep the house somewhat staightened up. I had cheer practice 3 nights and pictures 1 night. PTA executive board meeting was on Tuesday. Maybe I give to much of myself to others and not enough to my family. Oh I have alot to think about while I am in Vegas!

Have you ever been so exhausted that you can't sleep? I still have so much to do tomorrow before we go to the airport. Paula and Amanda are picking me up at 12nooon and We have a game at 10am and I still have to pick up medicine and finish packing and will probably stinky from the game. i probably don't even have to be there but is my daughter and sons first game!
I love them so much and don't want to disapoint them.

My daughter didn't win the spirit stick today at the peprally and she cried and was sooo upset! I wish I could give her everything but what is that teaching her. Then the team mom said don't worry I will make everybody one! What! What are we teaching them! Just cry and you will get whatever you want!

I have never been surfing and I don't know how all that stuff works but one day this wave may crash and I hope I am not the wrong side when the wave comes crashing down. My wish is that I can find the center of the board and ride the wave all the way to the shore!

I miss my babies...

2007-08-27T17:49:00.000-07:00

School started today and somethimes I forget just how much Caiti and Tj mean to me. I took them to school and told them buy and did my usual PTA thing... then I came home to scrap a little bit....It was so quiet and still.

I realized I didn't spend enough time with them over the summer. Was I the mom they needed me to be while they were here with me? What could I have done better? Oh the things we do to ourselves!

I went back to the school and TJ was having lunch already. He was so happy to see me! I was so happy to see him! I am crying now like I was crying then! I am so glad that my baby boy still needs and wants me to be his mommy. Caiti was in the lunchroom shortly and she was so happy to see me as well. I am so glad that God has blessed me with two such loving children.

Of course, I did not leave the rest of the day! I helped the teachers and booked the Opera and bounce houses for the school programs and was just there with my kids..... I don't know if the staff wants me there all the time but I needed to be there today!

Tomorrow I will try to stay away! I just like being near them! Here I go again! I guess I better get them in bed so I can cry myself to sleep!

Thanks for listening!!

Another forgotten Anniversary

2007-06-29T17:11:00.000-07:00

Today I was getting my hair cut and I told my stylist about my scar. The usual thing I tell a new stylist and of course she asked my what it was from. I began to tell her that I had brain surgery to remove a malformation and I am about to have an anniversary. Then I realized it was yesterday. Why do I take each and every glorious day that God has given me for granted. I should not just be celebrating the Anniversary of the day my life completely and graciously changed for the better but I should celebrate everyday I get to spend here with my beautiful children, My loving husband and my wonderful support system.

I vow today to celebrate each and everyday like it is the anniversary of another wonderful day beacause each day God has made is what we make of it!!

I will shut my eyes and live with my mind wide open and I challenge anyone who reads this to do the same!!

Happy Anniversary to me!! And to you!!

Catherine

I am really babbling on but I am so exhausted and really needed to write this! C

June 17th 2007

2007-06-17T08:11:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone! I have had such an interesting weekend. I have met two new friends, although I have known both of them for almost 9 months we haven't passed the courteous smile and nod in the hallways of our children's school. School is over now and we have indulged at the pool on at hot summer afternoon and learned that we are common souls on parallel journey through this forsaken time in history.

It is so funny how we forget get some days and how those days develop into weeks and dare I say months about the absolute Grace and love of our father God. He knows all! I don't need to say anymore than that about his power but I will however expand on my thoughts about the weekend I have had with my new dear friends. They are so positive and loving, they have had trials and triumphs they giggle just like little girls and they love to be with their kids! I have been waiting for them! The friends that I have made since we moved to Fort Worth have gotten me to the place I am today and I love them dearly. I will not trade them out for newer models however, I will be around more positive and loving people for the sanctity of my relationship with my Father in Heaven and my family on earth. It is the only thing to do.
I can only pray that they will see a change in me for the good and want to follow in my foot steps.

I spent an evening out with my two new girlfriends last night and had an amazing time! How many times can you go out with a bunch of girls and never feel like you are being judges or mislead or used in anyway. It was such an amazing and uplifting feeling. Just the night before I went out with another friend and felt like the oldest and fattest person in the place!!

Alleluia for New Friends! Alleluia for old Friends!! Make new fiends but keep the old one is silver and the others Gold!!! Ha Ha I don't know which one is more precious! That will take some time to figure out but I am glad that God keeps showing me his Grace!

Peace,
Catherine